The 12 Days of Christmas- Gundam Wing style
by Friezaess
Summary: My version of the 12 Days of Christmas, with a GW flavour! Written whilst I was high on sugar ^_^; Please review!!! (And where do you think you're going, Mr. Merquise? ^_^)


1 _~*THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS- GUNDAM WING STYLE*~_  
  
Author's note: Ah, my very first GW fic! *sigh* Gundam Wing just finsihed in my neck of the woods ;_; (well, OK, we still have Endless Walts to go, but still!)  
  
Disclaimer: I owneth nothing! Except this potato. *hugs her vegetable* Don't worry Mr. Potato. everything's going to be aaaaalright! *takes another cup of sugar-loaded, caffine boosted soft drink*  
  
Anyway, on with the show!  
  
(sung to The 12 days of Christmas)  
  
2 On the first day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
A bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: *waves*  
  
On the second day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Earth nation: Bloody colonies! *shoots them*  
  
Colonies: Bloody earthlings! *sends mobile dolls down to Earth*  
  
And a bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: *sings* I'm a model, ya know what I mean, I like to shake my little tush on the catwalk! *shakes his bum*  
  
Friezaess: Woohoo, you go Zechs!  
  
On the third day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
A couple of catchy theme songs  
  
Singer: Just wild beat, communication!  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Colonies: Hyuck hyuck, let's crash this here spaceship into them earthlings! *everyone does the chicken dance*  
  
And a bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: I'll show you my sword if you show me your big bazookas!  
  
On the fourth day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
Four mobile dolls  
  
*mobile dolls immediately start attacking everything around them*  
  
Friezaess: Oops! ^_^;  
  
A couple of catchy theme songs  
  
Singer: It's just love!  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Trieze: Oh great, now that Relina's gone to visit the colonies I can't watch her in the shower anymore . Damn those bastards!  
  
And a bishounen that was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: I wasn't flirting Noin, honest!  
  
On the fifth day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
*clears throat*  
  
FIIIIIIIIIVE GUNDAM BOYS!  
  
*Quatre, Heero, Duo, Wufei and Trowa appear out of thing air*  
  
Heero: What the fu-  
  
Friezaess: He means, uh, fu-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!  
  
Four mobile dolls  
  
*mobile dolls stomp on a few thousand people*  
  
A couple of catchy theme songs  
  
Singer: *insert random Japanese lyrics here* Tonight!  
  
Two waring forces  
  
*Libra gets attacked by mobile dolls and begins to tremble*  
  
Dorothy: *is putting on her make up when the vibrations cause her to smear her lipstick* Oh no, not again! And they wonder how I got eyebrows like this.  
  
And a bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL. right after I shampoo my hair ^_^!  
  
On the sixth day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
Six angry colonies  
  
Angry colonies: We're angry! ^_^  
  
FIIIIIIIVE GUNDAM BOYS!  
  
Trowa: *looking completely emotionless and out of it, as per usual*  
  
Duo: Trowa, are you stoned again?  
  
Trowa: Hee hee hee! Look at the little pink unicorn sitting on my shoulder! *takes another puff*  
  
Four mobile dolls  
  
*mobile doll pilots decide to go for a swim- whilst still in their dolls. As a result, a massive tidal wave wipes out a couple of thousand people*  
  
Three catchy theme songs  
  
Singer: Oh yay, I get to sing another song about sex!  
  
Zechs: Did someone call me?  
  
Two waring forces  
  
White Fang: Hello! Did ya miss us? ^_^  
  
And a bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: *flexes his muscles, causing most of the female audience - and some of the male members too - to fall into a hypnotic daze*  
  
On the seventh day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
Seven crates of artillery  
  
Overweight delivery guy wearing super-short shorts: Sign here please ma'am.  
  
Friezaess: *signs the paper on the clipboard*  
  
Delivery guy: *over his shoulder* Okay, bring 'em in!  
  
*a truck dumps several huge crates containing weapons into Friezaess's front garden*  
  
Friezaess: Aw man, not on the daisies!  
  
Six angry colonies  
  
Angry colonies: We're still angry! *blows up random targets on Earth*  
  
FIIIIIIIIVE GUNDAM BOYS!  
  
Quatre: Why is my name spelt 'Quatre' but pronounced 'Catra'?  
  
Wufei: I do not know.  
  
Four mobile dolls  
  
*mobile dolls skip across the countryside picking wildflowers*  
  
Three catchy theme songs  
  
Singer: You mean I was singing in Japanese? Wow, howzabout that!  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Earth: Prepare for trouble!  
  
Colonies and White Fang: Make it double!  
  
Team Rocket: Hey! That's our line!  
  
And a bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: Hey, my name *does* sound like s-  
  
On the eighth day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
Eight hentai doujinshis  
  
Friezaess: *blushes* How did they get there? ^_^;  
  
Seven crates of artillery  
  
Friezaess: *decorates the crate with flowers and that hideous little garden gnome she has in her front yard*  
  
Six angry colonies  
  
Angry colonies: We tried stress management, but it just didn't work- we ended up blowing the clinic up.  
  
FIIIIIIIVE GUNDAM BOYS!  
  
Duo: Okay, why didn't anyone ever tell me this outfit makes me look like a priest?! Man, no wonder none of the girls wanted to flirt with me .  
  
Four mobile dolls  
  
*mobile dolls pick up cars (with the people still inside) and make 'broom broom' noises*  
  
Three catchy theme songs  
  
Singer: Oops, I did it again! I played with your heart, got lost in the game!  
  
Friezaess: Okay, maybe not quite as catchy as they used to be.  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Colonies: *uses massive speakers to transmit Aaron Carter music to the Earth, causing all Earthlings to scratch and claw at their ears in an attempt to avoid it*  
  
And a bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: Oh, I know I am!  
  
On the ninth day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
Nine Gundam model kits  
  
Friezaess: Ooo, Bandai fresh!  
  
Eight hentai doujinshis  
  
Friezaess: *reading* Wow, I never knew people could bend that way O_o!  
  
Seven crates of artillery  
  
*crates are now covered in an assortment of sickly pastel flowers*  
  
Friezaess: There, that looks better!  
  
Six angry colonies  
  
Angry colonies: We're gonna pound the crap outta them!  
  
Random bystander: Who's 'them'?  
  
Angry colonies: Uh. um. damn!  
  
FIIIIIIIVE GUNDAM BOYS!  
  
Heero: Let's play 'Pin the ponytail on the Duo'! *grabs Duo's ponytail and cuts it off*  
  
Duo: Nooooooooo!!!  
  
Four mobile dolls  
  
*mobile dolls trip over an oil tanker left carelessly in the middle of the road and cause a small earthquake*  
  
Three catchy theme songs  
  
Singer: A hundred bottles of beer on the wall, a hundred bottles of beer.  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Earth Nation: Maybe if we just sneak up behind 'em and take away their cable TV.  
  
And a bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: Hahaha! I didn't die at the end of Gundam Wing! So there ^_^!  
  
On the tenth day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
Ten thousand oppressed colonists  
  
Oppressed colonists: Not to be confused with 'angry colonies'!  
  
OZ: Shaddap ya losers!  
  
Nine Gundam model kits  
  
Friezaess: *carefully constructing a Tallgeese, only to accidentally glue her fingers to the model*  
  
Eight hentai doujinshis  
  
Quatre: Hey guys! Look what the author's reading!  
  
Friezaess: *quickly hides the doujinshis behind her back* Who, me? ^_^;  
  
Seven crates of artillery  
  
Friezaess: *pant, pant* All this self-insertion is wearing me out!  
  
Six angry colonies  
  
Angry colonies: Maybe we should try one of those stress balls.  
  
FIIIIVE GUNDAM BOYS!  
  
Duo: *crying over the loss of his beloved ponytail*  
  
Wufei: *swinging it around over his head* Round and round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody knows! *accidentally whacks Trowa in the face with it*  
  
Trowa: Trippy, man!  
  
Four mobile dolls  
  
Mobile doll pilot: This cockpit reeks Man, I knew I shouldn't have eaten that last helping of baked beans.  
  
Three catchy theme songs  
  
Singer: And I knooooow that my heart will go ooooooooooon.  
  
Celiene Dion: Hey, that's my song you bitch! *strangles her with Duo's ponytail*  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Zechs: Anyone feel like crashing into Earth today?  
  
White Fang: Yaaaay!  
  
And a bishounen who was so pretty!  
  
Zechs: What do you mean 'was'?!  
  
On the eleventh day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me  
  
Eleven attempts at peace  
  
Relina: We have finally managed to come up with a way to determine peace amongst the Earth and the colonies. Alright everybody- scissors, paper, rock!  
  
Ten thousand oppressed colonists  
  
OZ leader: Oh colonists!  
  
Colonists: But we just *gave* you a foot rub!  
  
Nine Gundam model kits  
  
Friezaess: *sawing off her finger in an attempt to detach herself from the table* Stupid PVA glue.  
  
Eight hentai doujinshis  
  
Heero: Who's that person with Zechs?  
  
Trowa: You.  
  
Heero: HOLY SH-  
  
Seven crates of artillery  
  
Friezaess: Hm. I wonder what'd happen If I opened it. *picks up a crowbar and pries open the lid*  
  
Six angry colonies  
  
Angry colonies: *singing Maralyn Manson songs and walking around in Goth gear*  
  
FIIIIIVE GUNDAM BOYS!  
  
Quatre: *distraught* Hey guys, I've lost my Gundam!  
  
Heero: Have you checked down the back of the couch?  
  
Quatre: *reaches down the back of the couch, gropes around, and eventually pulls out his Gundam* Never mind!  
  
Four Mobile dolls  
  
Mobile dolls: *grabbing an ice cream at the local shopping centre*  
  
Three catchy songs  
  
Singer: *leaves to find a Karaoke bar*  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Earth nation: You're a bunch of poo-poo heads!  
  
Colonies: We know you are, but what are we?  
  
Earth nation: Poo-poo heads!  
  
Colonies: We know you are, but what are we?  
  
Earth nation: Poo-poo heads!  
  
Colonies: We know you are, but what are we?  
  
Earth nation: . Damn, they're good.  
  
And a bishounen that was so pretty!  
  
Friezaess: Well, aside from that time he had a bad case of acne. Now you know why he *really* wore that mask!  
  
Zechs: Hey, you promised you wouldn't tell! ;_;  
  
On the twelfth day of Christmas a Gundam sent to me-  
  
The copyrights to Gundam Wing!  
  
Heero: What does that mean?  
  
Zechs: It means that she now owns us! She's in control our every move!  
  
Friezaess: Reeeeeeally? :)  
  
Eleven attempts at peace  
  
Relina: *dancing* Can't. stop. doing. the macerena!  
  
Friezaess: *grins evilly*  
  
Ten thousand oppressed colonists  
  
OZ and the colonists: *are about to go into a fully-fledged war but instead hold hands and start singing* How many isles must a man walk down, before you can call him a man? *a certain author cackles in the background*  
  
Nine Gundam model kits  
  
Friezaess: *finally completes her model and, due to the change in copyrights, turns it into the real thing* Mwahaha!  
  
Eight hentai doujinshis  
  
Trowa: Hey man, you're really hot.  
  
Duo: Ah! What the. it's almost like those doujinshis about us are becoming real! But how?  
  
Friezaess: *is laughing her ass off*  
  
Seven crates of artillery  
  
Friezaess: *unleashes the weapons on The Fourth Wall- all of a sudden, the cast of Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, Cardcaptors and Pokemon appear*  
  
Six angry colonies  
  
Angry colonies: Hey look, it's Sailor Moon! Woohoo! *start to sing* Happy happy, joy joy, happy happy, joy joy!  
  
FIIIIIVE GUNDAM BOYS!  
  
Wufei: Can someone please explain to me why we're wearing these tight little speedos all of a sudden?  
  
Tracey (from Pokemon): Hey, you boys look hot!  
  
Wufei: Eek!  
  
Four Mobile Dolls  
  
*mobile dolls suddenly turn around to see none other than.*  
  
Frieza: You guys cannot possibly beat me because I am the most powerful being in the Universe and I can beat anyone who challenges me using only a fraction of my strength and Sayans suck and-  
  
Zarbon: Just blow them up already.  
  
Frieza: Oh, OK. *blows up the mobile dolls*  
  
Three catchy tunes  
  
Singer: *sings* I'm Sakuuuuura, I'm just a giiiiiiiirl-a, and I found a magic book. *speaking* Hey, this isn't 'Cardcaptors'!  
  
Friezaess: It is now!  
  
Two waring forces  
  
Earth nation: We're going to come up there and kick your a. *has a sudden change of heart* Oh, we're so sorry for being nasty to you all those years!  
  
Colonies: *crying* That's alright, we forgive you!  
  
Together: *singing* I love you, you love me, we're a happy family!  
  
And a bishounen who is so pretty  
  
Friezaess: You know, now that I own the copyrights, I can do what ever I want to you, my sexy Zechsy!  
  
Zechs: OH FU-  
  
*transmission cut* 


End file.
